Kundalini Yoga vs. The Mind (Chitta Vritti) in a Heavyweight Showdown!

In the battle for supremacy of my vibrational state, Kundalini Yoga is currently reigning 2-0 over the former heavyweight champ, The Mind. What will happen next in this showdown of showdowns, between two equally formidable competitors? Stay tuned until next Tuesday, when we do it again at Reflections Yoga with Rainer Perry (6pm, in case anyone’s interested).

In the red corner, we have the undisputed master of most, omnipresent with an incredibly effective subliminal marketing campaign that has resulted in the domination of billions of people the world over: THE MIND! This competitor is as wily as he is tenacious. Resistant to self-help books, psychotherapy, excessive consumerism, alcohol, drugs, sex, recreation, vacations, money, and religion, The Mind has ruled this weight class for millenia, actually, for the entire existence of humanity! That’s some record. This pugilist doesn’t just beat challengers to his throne (your mind), but he even beats his very own throne (your mind) into submission! And he beats it with his own self! How’s that for effective ground cover and effective use of resources all rolled into one?! Sheesh, the military probably consults with this guy because he beats even himself and STILL keeps on going.

The Mind is unrelenting, uncompromising, and never takes a vacation. He’s in training year-round, day in, day out, and only taken out of the ring when he’s between rounds, or  momentary conditions like coma, fainting, drug/alcohol-induced black outs, or orgasm. But within no time, he’s back on his feet, before the bell even rings to signal the next round! Who dare challenge his dominion over your life?!

In the blue corner, we have the challenger. An equally ancient yet far less-known contestant, this pugilist has kept his name out of the papers and off the bookie’s sheets. He’s known for being an unorthodox fighter, switching up his style and pulling from literally thousands of his time-worn techniques. What he’s lacking in popularity, he makes up for in incredible strength and stamina, not to mention his showmanship which, if it doesn’t win over his observers, at least it gets them wondering “what the heck is that?!” Ladies and germs, in the blue corner, the challenger: KUNDALINI YOGA!

This prize-winning fight will undoubtedly go the full 12 rounds. In fact, ladies and germs, it could go your ENTIRE LIFETIME, and the lifetimes of your children, and your children’s children, and their children. Ladies and germs, this is a battle of EPIC proportions, between the popular and dynastic champion THE MIND against the formidable competitor, the little known, shrouded in mystery, and deadly effective KUNDALINI YOGA.

Let’s get ready to RUMMMMMMBLE!!!!!

(crowd roars)


We’ll be replaying the most recent exciting battle between these two titans in a later blog post. In the meantime, please open your programs to the following page to read up on Kundalini Yoga’s first training session at the Gym of Lola’s Being!

And don’t forget to tune in later, or next week, or both!

BATTLE FOR SUPREMACY OF YOUR VERY VIBRATIONAL EXISTENCE!!! Who will be the victor? Nothing less than the future of humanity is concerned here. Make sure you get your tickets early, reserve your parking spot, take the day off from work. This is one fight you sure don’t wanna miss!


~ by Lola on May 12, 2010.

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